Chasm

I just learned that an old coworker from when I worked at Sonic committed suicide. We weren't super close, but I did consider her my friend. She even offered to be a reference for me when I bought my car. I never knew she was dealing with any kind of depression and I guess that's what really gets me. There's a lot of people I've grown apart from over the years. People I see from time to time and ask how they've been, but never really know about their struggles. I wonder if I would have been able to help her if I'd known. 

My heart goes out to her kids, some of whom went to school with mine but who I never met. I've been in some dark places at times in my life, I think most people have. It's something you dont really tell people and that's probably because of how stigmatized it is. I don't know what she was going through, or why she felt like there was no other way. I guess the chasm left behind is something most people don't see from that place of darkness. All they can see is the chasm inside which opens, looming ever larger, and seems to consume all hope. 

She was around my age, so if I'd gone to school we'd probably have been classmates. Some of our kids did go to school together, although I dont think they were ever friends. I interviewed her once for an article I was planning to write on single mothers, or was it working mothers? It's been a long time. I also talked to her brother for a bit before we mutually decided to go our separate ways. But we weren't close, so I dont have a right to grieve, not really.