Ending of "Maid", Start of "Feel Good"

 I want to talk about the end of maid, but I'd also like to talk about this new show I just started watching called Feel Good. Actually, I watched the first episode a while back, and I liked it, but I waited a little while before I watched any more and I watched the second episode tonight. 

So, the end of Maid. I felt that, although it ended well (a little bittersweet), it wasn't as realistic an ending as the rest of the show has been. That is because in the end Shawn did the right thing, realized what he was and what he'd been doing, and decided that he didn't want his daughter to grow up with that. I don't feel like that's realistic. The really infuriating part was the guy with the beard whose name I don't even remember, although he is in half the show, because... well he's the typical "nice guy" isn't he? He has that mentality that ultimately he's expecting something from Alex and she knows it, she can feel it, that's why she's so standoffish to him. If he were a really nice guy he would have understood what had happened to her. He comes into her life (after her breakup with Shawn anyway) as she's sleeping on the floor of the ferry station with her daughter. That had to raise some bells. Then there's the insistence that she can't go back to Shawn no matter what. The need to keep working even though she's barely staying afloat. All of these were context clues that she'd been in an abusive relationship, and the kicker is that she's not ready to move on and that she turns to her abuser when something really bad happens. Because that's what they do. That's how they control, by being there for you at your lowest point so you let them back in. And that bearded asshole did exactly what Shawn needed him to do to get her back under his thumb and I'll never forgive his asshole of a character. But then again, perhaps Alex needed to go back so that she could leave and leave for good and end up with the happy ending (although it's not realistic that it went down like that).

Now for Feel Good. The show is about a lesbian Mae who is a comedian, an ex drug-addict, and who (in the first episode) starts a whirlwind romance with a girl who has been coming to her shows (George). Mae and George are a good couple, in private. But George isn't open about her sexuality. While hanging out with her friends, George pretends to be dating a guy to keep a creepy jerk at arms length. Mae repeatedly asks George about meeting her friends and George keeps making excuses and then lying to her friends. Then, last episode she went to a family member's wedding and told Mae that she wasn't allowed a plus one then lied to her family about why she didn't bring a plus one.

Of course, George didn't find out about Mae's past with drugs until Mae was talking to her acerbic mother on skype, so there's a little bit of dishonesty on both sides. I'm liking the show so far. It is realistic about how addicts will replace one addiction with another, especially if the new addiction is something that also brings them shame. Mae's new addiction is George, and although being with George doesn't bring her shame, she's ashamed of being too clingy and thinks she might be driving George away. Meanwhile, George is in head over heals but too ashamed of being gay to openly admit it to family and friends. I look forward to continuing this series to see where it goes. I also really like the roommate. He's a fun character.

Maid: Ongoing thoughts

 So I'm up to episode 6 in the series and it tackles some very tough issues, like income inequality and co-parenting, in very realistic ways. One of the episodes handles problems like the inhabitable living conditions some lower-income landlords expect you to live with. Alex notices mold and her landlord suggests that she open the window to air the place out, but Maddie (Alex's daughter) is sick and she isn't getting better. They end up having to move and temporarily stay with Alex's bio dad until Alex figures out that he used to beat her mom because she has flashbacks to her childhood while cleaning the estate of a mother who has recently passed away and noticing the evidence around the house that this woman was extremely abusive (locks on the kid's bedroom door, a small crawlspace with a lock on it where there are child's drawings, etc). Naturally after dredging up the repressed memory, Alex doesn't want to be anywhere near her father, so she moves in with her mom who had gone awol for a bit but is back and married to the guy who seems to be fleecing her. (Alex notices several things that lead her to this conclusion, and there is little evidence that the guy has any real feelings for her mom).

It also explores online dating, moving on from a relationship, and co-parenting, all in realistic ways. Alex keeps falling into places where she needs help because government assistance is just not enough and in order to qualify she has to limit the hours she works so it's basically a catch-22. This is an extremely good representation of income inequality. And there are social pressures on her from her former friends (who are Sean's friends), from her mom (who doesn't understand that emotional abuse is still abuse) and from her own feelings for Sean (which are portrayed beautifully when she goes out and finds him and gives him a ride home after he's been gone 2 days on a bender). Alex finds little help from the rich people around her, most of whom see her kind of like a tool for them to use rather than an actual person.

I find myself getting more and more invested in these characters, hoping against hope that she doesn't go back to Sean, because that would be bad, and maybe seeing a bit of my own struggles with raising kids and financial troubles at the very least. I remember when the kids were young enough to require daycare it was so expensive that it was almost a day's wages just to pay half. If I'd had to foot the entire thing, I don't think I could have done it. And not having a family she can fall back on (even her mom is flighty and unpredictable) is something I also relate to, as is feeling isolated by the people you thought were your friends because it turns out they were only friends with you because of the person you were with. It doesn't help that the only person who is remotely willing and able to help seems to have ulterior motives (in that he's attracted to her). The show hits home and I like it. I might write one more review when I finish it just to let you know what I thought of the ending (or how it left off if it seems likely to continue beyond one season).

Thank You

 I just wanted to take some time and thank each and every person who reads my blog (yes that includes you mom) for taking the time to read my posts. Much thanks to those of you who also jumped through the hurdles and actually left a comment. I hope you like what I've been doing with the reviews. I'll get back on that soon. I've been reading a fair amount recently, which means I've also been writing more, and I've also been working an inordinate amount of time. I will try and get back on the Supernatural reviews soon. I will definitely be reviewing at least the first five seasons, as I said in a previous post. Anyway, thank you so much. Please feel free to leave feedback, I do moderate my comments which means it may take longer for your comment to be posted, but don't let that stop you. I am still watching Maid, and it's getting better. I recommend it to anyone who'd like to check it out.

A Side Note

 Sometimes I get bummed. I guess that's putting it mildly. But when I get like this it's hard to find the motivation to write and I get in a space where I'm not doing the thing I love most and that just makes me more bummed because I'm not really working towards anything I actually want to do, I'm just wasting time on stuff I don't like. So I recently watched an anime called "Remake Our Life" it's a time-leap anime where the protagonist (a man in his late 20's) time leaps to a point in his life where he made a decision that effected his whole life and he goes down a different path. I'm not going to spoil anything for those of you who might want to watch the show, but at one point he runs across an artist who has no motivation to draw. She says: "There's just not anything I want to draw anymore" and I get that feeling, because when I'm bummed that's exactly how I feel about writing. I think "everything has been done, and done better than I could ever do" or "there's just not anything I feel like writing" and so I put it off just like the character in the story. However, one of the ways he is able to help her is to remind her what inspired her to draw in the first place. I have been reading more recently and I just started realizing that when I read things that perk up my imagination and pull me in, even if it's not remotely in the same genre that I am writing, it makes me want to write. So, if you're a writer and you're struggling for inspiration, maybe start reading some new stuff that awakens your imagination. That is all, thank you, and see you with my next review.

"Maid" Netflix Series First Impression

 So much to unpack with this show so far. I haven't finished it yet but these are my initial thoughts. First, it is an accurate depiction of the reality some people find when trying to extricate themselves from abusive relationships. For instance, in the first episode Alex flees her home after her boyfriend has a violent outburst which leaves her fearing for her child's safety. The first place she thinks to go is a friend's house, but this friend has close ties to her boyfriend who is immediately alerted to her presence there. She leaves that place, but has nowhere else to go and ends up sleeping in her car at a public park. 

The second realistic thing is the finance issue. Many abusive partners control the money in the relationship so they can cut it off at any time for any reason. This gives them financial control which makes it more difficult to leave. Alex at the offset has about $20 to work with and as she puts gas in her car, we see her funds going down.

The third realistic thing is how difficult it can be to find work if you don't have a place to live or any kind of daycare for your children, which would be difficult if all your close friends were tied to your abusive partner. This is why abusive partners tend to alienate their victims to keep them from having someplace else to turn.

Something else I found interesting and extremely true to life is that people who come from troubled pasts tend to fall into these kinds of relationships more easily. Alex has a flighty and irresponsible mother, and a father who isn't really a part of her life because he has a family outside of the probably toxic one he had with her mother. One reason for this is that people with this kind of past have fewer familial ties, less confidence, and more neediness than their more stable peers.

And finally, and perhaps the most realistic part of all is the way other people tend to view emotionally abusive relationships and why it can be so hard to leave. Because it's easy to say "it was just one outburst" and ignore all the other things that person is doing or has done especially if it's not all the time. Abusers often begin with emotional abuse before they escalate to physical violence. This tears down their victims mentally and makes them more susceptible to physical attacks. Abusers often call their victims names, tell them they're worthless, scream in their faces, hit near them to intimidate them or throw things. All these actions take a toll on the victim and break down their willpower.

All-in-all the show has a very good start and I am eager to see more. So far, I rate the show a 10/10

"Bloody Mary" Supernatural S1:Ep5

Finally we get some semblance of closure for Sam and an idea that he might be able to one day get past his feelings of guilt over Jessica's death. This episode has a pretty big creep factor, although the monster is something we've encountered before (we see a lot of different types of ghosts), this ghost is different because there are no bones to burn since the body was cremated. I'm getting ahead of myself. The main thing I didn't like about this episode was the recurring damsel in distress trope where the boys put themselves in danger to save some girl. In this episode, the most important characters are the main characters with the only real exception being Charlie, the girl who ends up needing saved.

The show starts off with some 12-year-old kids playing truth or dare. One girl is dared to go into the bathroom and say "bloody Mary" in the mirror, a superstition we've all heard. Just in case we haven't, however, the girls clarify what will happen in order to frighten their friend. The girl does it, and nothing happens apart from her friends jerkishly banging on the door to freak her out. The girl's father, however, starts having a creepy woman with ratty black hair show up in any reflective surface he passes (mostly mirrors). It comes to a head when the man notices something weird about his own reflection as he's looking into the bathroom mirror. The scene cuts to the 12-year-olds and and older girl walks in. The one who said "bloody Mary" teases her that she is past curfew, but the teen ignores her and heads upstairs. Once there she finds blood leaking out of the bathroom but appears unperturbed by it at first. She curiously opens the door further to find even more blood and then her eyes fall on something that makes her scream. The audience is left to imagine what has happened to her poor father who is no doubt the victim of Bloody Mary. All this, the candle light, the creepy ghost figure popping into reflections and finally the large amount of blood without showing the body, all up the horror element.

The next seen shows Sam and Dean. Sam is having yet another nightmare about Jessica's death. Dean lays into him a bit, but Sam brushes it off like it's nothing. It is obvious Dean wants to help Sam but doesn't know how. This is a good Sam/Dean moment, and there are quite a few of those in this episode. The first stop for the boys is the morgue where they have to bribe an orderly to be able to see the corpse. Evidently weary of their fake ids the boys pose as college students instead of federal agents this time. The orderly tells them how much blood there was on the guy's brain and that his eyes were melted in their sockets. He thinks it was an aneurism. As they're leaving the morgue, they discuss the possibility that it is just some freak medical thing and not a hunter thing, but they both agree that is unlikely. Next stop is the funeral where they talk to the guy's daughter who discovered the body. She is with a few of her friends. Sam and Dean pretend they worked with the father and ask if there were ever any signs of an impending aneurism. The younger daughter then says it was her fault because she said "Bloody Mary" that night. The boys look at the bathroom where the man died and are found there by Charlie, one of the daughter's friends. Charlie threatens to scream if the boys don't tell her exactly what they are doing. They say they think something ominous might have happened and they don't want it to happen to anyone else. It's pretty obvious from the moment that Sam gives her his number (in case anything happens to shed light on the situation) that this is going to be the episode's damsel in distress. I really wish they wouldn't do this every episode, it's kind of wearing on my patience. 

A friend of Charlie's is mocking her and says "Bloody Mary" three times in the mirror, after which she is attacked. Sam and Dean go to investigate and find a name on the back of the mirror she was killed in front of. They find out the name belongs to an 8-year-old boy who was killed in a hit and run. Charlie tells them that it was her friend who was driving the car. They boys go to the first victim's house and find the name of the man's wife on the mirror. The daughter tells them her mom overdosed but that it was an accident. The ghost is punishing people by revealing their secrets and killing them. The boys find that a woman named Mary was murdered in front of a mirror, but it was in Ft. Wayne Indiana. They go to speak to the lead investigator on the case. He tells them that Mary's eyes were cut out with surgical precision and that her diary indicated that she was planning to tell her lover's wife about their affair right before her murder. She was able to write the letters TRE on the mirror before she died, and the investigator thinks that she was trying to out her murderer. The boys try to track down the mirror, sure that if they smash it Mary will be vanquished. They find out that it was sold to an antique shop in the town Mary is currently haunting.

Before the boys get back, Charlie has an argument with the daughter of the first victim and that girl says "Bloody Mary" in front of the school's bathroom mirror. Charlie then begins seeing Mary in reflective surfaces and starts to freak out. She smashes the window at school, then sees Mary in her teacher's eyeglasses, screams and runs out of the building. When the boys return, they put Mary in a room without any reflective surfaces and tell her they're going to vanquish the ghost. They ask her what happened, and she tells them that her boyfriend committed suicide after a fight. Now they know that Mary only cares that there was a secret and someone died.

On the way to the antique store, Sam tells Dean he thinks the only way to make sure Mary doesn't keep appearing is to make sure she's in the mirror when they smash it. He tells Dean that he thinks Mary will come after him because of Jessica's death. Dean tries to talk him out of it, obviously worried. This is another good Sam/Dean moment. Besides, Dean reasons, he knows everything about what happened to Jessica so it isn't a secret. Sam then says that he hasn't told Dean everything and then refuses to divulge his secret because then "it wouldn't be a secret". 

They boys break into the antique store, but they trip the alarm. The cops show up before Sam is finished saying "Bloody Mary" and Dean goes to deal with them. Sam is set to smash the mirror, but he is surprised that instead of seeing Mary he sees his own reflection telling him what he did. It turns out Sam didn't only keep the fact that he was a hunter from Jessica, he was also having premonitions about her death for days before it happened. Dean tries to convince the cops that he's the owner of the shop's son, but it isn't working and so he chooses to knock them out instead so he can go back and help Sam. He returns just in time and smashes the mirror. Sam is saved. But Mary crawls out of the frame and attacks both boys. Sam manages to hold up a nearby mirror, which causes Mary to see her own misdeeds and vanquish herself.

After telling Charlie she's safe, Sam tells her that her boyfriend's suicide was "absolutely not her fault" and by so doing, we see that Sam is starting to forgive himself as well. Still, as they drive out of town, he refuses to tell Dean what the audience now knows and he sees a mirage of Jessica on the side of the street just before the credits roll.

I have decided to start rating various parts of the show, then giving a whole grade to it, based on the individual grades. For horror/suspense this episode gets a 9/10 (the creep element is high, but not the highest we've seen) for side characters, this episode gets a 6/10 (most of them were kind of predictable and I didn't like the damsel in distress trope once again. Would it have killed them to make this character a guy whose girlfriend died? I mean, they wouldn't have even had to change the name.) For main character bonding this episode gets a very high 10/10 (there were lots of really good moments and you can see how much the boys care for each other). For misogyny this episode gets a -2 out of -10 (one Paris Hilton joke and the damsel in distress trope). And finally, for mystery, this episode gets a 7/10 (it was pretty predictable, but some of the mystery elements were good). Overall, this episode gets a 6/10.

"Sex Education" Whole TV Series Review

This TV series is not for the prudish among us. I have seen someone call it pornography, and I am almost certain that is how my father would describe it. However, it is a very good show that touches on some very important topics especially where it concerns the LGBT community. For this reason I would like to do a whole show review. I may do episodic reviews at a later date, in order to give this show the credit it deserves. It does feature quite a bit of nudity. I would caution that people uncomfortable with LGBT relationships should not watch, except I really think they would benefit most from the show.

The main relationship the show focuses on is not LGBT, and that is a little disappointing. I didn't really enjoy the main ship of the show, even though the show fought so hard to make me care. I would have rather seen the main two end up with one of their other relationships. For a little while I thought Otis and Ola would be a good match, but I think the show was right to split them, they're better as siblings. I still think Maeve was best paired with Jackson, and I really couldn't stand that she broke his heart like that. Still, I think his friendship with Viv was the best thing that came out of his breakup, and he might not have gotten to know Cam either if they had stayed together.

And I've started talking characters before I've even given a premise. The show is about a group of British teenagers who are in the last few years of their education. The school they are attending is run by an uptight prick called Mr. Groff. The main character is a boy (Otis) who hasn't quite grown into his sexuality yet, having been scarred at a young age by witnessing his father cheating on his mother, then overhearing the subsequent fight between his parents after which they divorced. His best friend Eric is openly gay, but it is never suggested that this makes Otis even slightly uncomfortable. They interact as freely as any other two friends might. Otis is very uncomfortable with his mother's occupation (sex therapist) choice of art work (many erotic or phallic designs) and the tools of her trade (mostly sex toys, but some anatomical depictions of the female sex organ). He shows this in the first episode by trying to hide all this from his assigned study partner Adam when he comes over to study.

The headmaster's son Adam takes some viagra in order to help him with his girlfriend problems, but cannot get his girlfriend Aimee to meet up with him because she's still angry that he was having problems the night before. So he goes into the abandoned bathrooms, where all the teens go to do forbidden stuff. While he's there, Otis and Mauve happen to stumble upon him. Otis gives him some advice, which Adam totally takes the wrong way, but it works to help him overcome his problem, and Maeve is given the idea that Otis is really good at giving sex advice and there's certainly a market for it. They start what they call "the clinic" which is a business where teens come to Otis with their problems and he helps them. He doesn't want to do it at first, but he has a crush on Maeve, so he goes along with it.

Throughout the show, the problems addressed are valid issues, and the show also criticizes the poor excuse for sex education most schools give their teenage students, since it ill-prepares them for the adult world of sex and the internet is not always the most useful source of information because of the vast array of bad and potentially dangerous material you can find on there. Some of the issues addressed are: female pleasure, the right to choose, asexuality, gender identity, sexual phobia, STDs, safe sex practices, masturbation, slut-shaming and sexual assault.

The show also addresses many different child-parent relationship dynamics. The relationship between Otis and his mother Jean is the most prevalent, as is Eric's relationship with his family, but the dysfunctional ones (Maeve and her mom, Adam and his dad) are also a very good part of the show.  Jackson's anxiety about his moms getting a divorce is a key point in his character arc and eventual growth.

One of the most potent storylines of the show concerns the slightly airheaded Aimee who starts off the show dating Adam and is part of the popular posse, but secretly meeting Maeve in the bathrooms to hang out because Maeve isn't the type of person her friends would approve of. Aimee is an important part of the show from the very start. It is a party at her house where Otis and Maeve give the advice that starts the ball rolling for their clinic since Adam didn't like the result after his session (Aimee broke up with him because he exposed himself to the whole cafeteria). The storyline in question happens after Aimee has chosen her friendship with Maeve over the popular crowd because Groff decides to suspend Maeve despite her unparalleled intelligence after an incident where her brother was selling drugs at a school dance. Groff thinks she and Otis have been dealing because of the clinic money. Since Aimee's no longer part of the popular crowd, she starts riding the bus to school. One day, while on the bus, a man begins to masterbate next to her and Aimee, who is uncomfortable, asks to get off the bus. After she exits the bus, Aimee finds that the man has ejaculated over her best jeans. When she tells Mauve about the incident, Maeve insists she go to the police. Aimee brushes it off initially, and plays it down, but it really hits home how much this affected her when she is unable to board the bus on subsequent days, electing to walk several miles to school, and when she can't abide her boyfriend's touch because she keeps seeing the man who assaulted her. This really shows how traumatic any type of sexual assault can be.

The best relationship in the show was Adam and Eric. Although Adam started out with Aimee, even going so far as to show up uninvited to her party and he keeps acting slightly jealous at her relationships with other men after him, it is obvious even in the beginning while he mercilessly bullies Eric, that he has a crush on him. This comes to a head when they are both put in detention and end up fighting over how to put up a music stand. They struggle and end up on the floor, then Adam kisses Eric and goes down on him, but afterwards swears him to secrecy. Their relationship is put on hold when Adam's dad ships him off to military school. After Adam is gone, Eric starts dating the new kid (Anwar) who's from France, but Adam gets kicked out of military school after he accidentally stumbles on two of his classmates jerking each other off and they plant drugs on him to get him expelled. He ends up working at the shop that Anwar's father owns and this is how Eric finds out he's back in town. Adam starts showing up to Eric's house late at night and taking him to a secret spot where he goes to smash stuff when he's angry. They smash stuff together until it's almost morning then go home and kiss. Eric is confused, but finally decides he wants a boyfriend who isn't ashamed of him, so he choses Anwar. Adam doesn't know what to do at first, but he figures out that he's bisexual and then he decides to tell Eric how he feels, in front of the whole school. He gets up on stage during the school performance of Romeo and Juliet to tell Eric "I want to hold your hand". So they start actually dating.

Second best relationship is Ola and Lily. I thought at first that Ola would have been a good match for Otis and she is the one who is able to help him overcome his sexual phobias, but he still has feelings for Maeve, who decides to tell him that she reciprocates those feelings right before what's supposed to be the night he and Ola go all the way. Then, after he tells her he's with Ola and can't return her feelings, she texts him sorry interrupting the two of them on what is supposed to be their first night. Ola gives him an ultimatum, but Otis can't respond right away. While he's deciding, Ola starts having confusing dreams about her friend Lily and this is how she figures out that she's pansexual (attracted to the person, not their genitalia) and that she is in love with her best friend. So when Otis finally decides to tell Maeve he can't see her, Ola tells him it's not going to work because their personalities clash. Ola kisses Lily, but at first Lily starts avoiding her. It seems she has never considered whether a lesbian relationship would be right for her and at first it makes her uncomfortable.

The best heterosexual romance in the story is definitely the music teacher Mr. Henricks and the English teacher Ms. Sands. Their relationship is so sweet and weird at the same time. It never says just when they started dating, but during the school trip arc, when the kids are in their last year, she says they've only been dating for a year because he proposes to her. She compromises and says they should move in together instead.

Most supportive family goes to Eric Effiong's family who try their best to support him and keep him safe. They welcome both Anwar and Adam into their home with open arms, and even give him dating advice. There is not a hint of homophobia about them. His father is a little scared for him to go out in make-up and flashy clothes, and for good reason because that is when he gets attacked after Otis selfishly ditches him for a clinic thing with Maeve. At first, he lets this get to him and he starts toning down his fashion choices, but eventually, he decides that he has to be himself even if no one else understands. His father tells him that he loves him and wants him to be safe.

Although I'd like to give most dysfunctional family to Maeve since her brother deals drugs and her Mom is an addict, they both still love her and are supportive in their own way. Instead, most dysfunctional goes to the Groffs, especially between Adam and his father. Adam is constantly berated and belittled by his father, to the point that when he's being expelled from the Military academy he begs the headmaster to let him stay rather than go home to his verbally abusive father. It turns out Adam has a gift for training dogs and he works really hard to train their small house dog Madame in a competition. When he doesn't win anything substantial he tells his mom, who he wasn't going to invite in the first place and who he hasn't come out to as of this moment, that he doesn't want her to tell his father because, since he didn't win anything Mr. Groff would "just be disappointed" in him.  

The show also explores asexuality in a productive way when a girl who identifies as asexual is supposed to be playing Juliet in the school play, but the director doesn't think she's showing enough passion. She goes to Otis for help, but he just tells her she needs to meet the right person. Her friends are pressuring her, and she doesn't know what to do, so she confides in Jean, who has set up a presence at the school to feel out possible curriculum changes for the SRE (Sex and Relationship Education) class. She tells Jean she thinks she's broken because all the other kids her age are wanting sex, but she doesn't. Jean tells her that sex doesn't make us whole so she could never be broken.

In season three, it even introduces two non-binary characters, one of whom (Cal) becomes a big part of the story. They become friends with Jackson, and Jackson develops feelings for them, but when they start to express affection and Cal tells him that it will be a queer relationship, he realizes that he's been seeing them as a girl. That is a problem, Cal tells him, because they're not a girl. Cal gets into it with the new headmistress (Mr. Groff gets fired at the end of season 2) who is trying to tell them their gender expression is wrong because she doesn't understand it.