Heartwarmer

 So I recently finished watching the 8 episode Netflix series Heartstopper and let me tell you, it is a must watch. So the first thing I have to say about this show is that it is completely wholesome. It is about a boy named Charlie Springer as he navigates developing a crush on an older boy at his school. Charlie is gay and out about it, but he was outed by someone else and endured bullying and alienation as a result, which is pretty obvious at the onset of the story. At the beginning of the story, Charlie is meeting up with this other boy whose name escapes me because he's really not all that important to the story. What is important is that the way he treats his relationship with Charlie is wrong. The guy only talks to Charlie over an app when he wants to meet up in secret for a make out session, never talks to him in public and even pretends he doesn't know Charlie if any of his friends are around. When Charlie witnesses this guy making out with a girl at the front gate, he decides he's had enough and calls the relationship off. Enter Nick Nelson, a Jock whose a year older than Charlie. Nick happens to be assigned the seat next to Charlie and the two end up becoming friends, all while Charlie harbors a huge unrequited crush on Nick. But Nick is straight (or so everyone believes) and Charlie is chastised by his friend group repeatedly to get over his crush because it's definitely not going to develop into anything more.

It's pretty obvious from the onset of their friendship that Nick likes Charlie, and not just in a platonic way. Eventually, even Nick starts to notice and then he begins to question his sexuality. I won't tell you how it ends because that would spoil everything and I really think you should watch it because it's sooo good. I will tell you that everything about the show is just beautifully done and perfect. The side characters need mentioning because there are more LGBT characters than just Charlie Spring (and possibly Nick Nelson, you'll have to watch it to see the answer to that one). There is Elle Argent, who until last year also attending the all boys' school even though she is a trans girl. She has finally been transferred to an all girls school and her character arc is mostly about finding friends at her new school and navigating developing a crush on one of her best friends Tao Xu. Tao Xu is actually the only straight/cis person in the friend group, which is a refreshing change from the usual token LGBT character. Then there is Isaac Henderson, whose sexuality is never confirmed but it is implied heavily that he is asexual/aromantic. Elle eventually makes friends with two girls at her school Tara Jones and Darcy Olsson who it turns out are dating each other. Early in the show Charlie's friends learn that according to school gossip Nick has a crush on Tara, it is later revealed that the two shared a kiss when they were 13 at a party, but Nick never shows interest in Tara during the present time. 

Nick's friend group is less diverse, consisting of mostly jocks from the rugby team the ringleader of which (Harry) is a homophobic and transphobic bully. Thankfully, Nick eventually stops hanging out with those jerky people after he realizes what they're really like. Nick's altercation with Harry after Harry calls Charlie a homophobic slur is the most satisfying punch ever. You really hate Harry for everything he's done through the course of the show, but I was reading the wiki fan page and apparently his character experiences at least some growth in the original source material. It is unclear if the Netflix series is going to continue past the point it has gotten to, though.

I really enjoyed all the Charlie and Nick interactions and watching their little friendship blossom and watching them crush on each other without the other one picking up on it. It was very heartwarming.

Another character I found interesting was Charlie's sister Tory. This is because it seems like Tory presents as autistic. I've also seen some other people online second this opinion. Either way, she is a very unique and interesting character in her own right.

In conclusion, please watch this very beautiful coming of age LGBT love story. Thanks for tuning in, see you next time.

Not a Review, but need to rant

I have been thinking a lot about gender issues and gender stereotypes and gender equality since finishing Blue Flag (well, I didn't actually finish it since the final chapter is not available on the platform I used to read it). But thinking about these issues, I have begun to consider what TERFs say about feminism and what feminism looks like to them. How can it even be called feminism if they don't actually believe that women and men are equal? Because look at it this way, if you truly believe the two sexes to be equal, then you would have no problem with transgender rights. Feminism is about empowering women so that they hold a status that is equal to men. If you claim that those AFAB (assigned female at birth) are somehow not physically equal to those who are AMAB (assigned male at birth), such as by saying that so called women's sports allowing trans women to compete somehow have given those individuals a competitive edge (ignoring the reality that everyone is built differently and some AFAB people are stockier and stronger than some AMAB people), this claim is decidedly anti-feminist. As a matter of fact, separating sports and even prisons by gender is stupid and harmful to everyone. And the argument that, if you integrate prisons there will just be more rape is stupid and unfounded. There is already a lot of rape in prison and they are not integrated. The only thing that should actually be a concern is pregnancy, and even that is not necessarily a given. Most people, given the opportunity to use birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancy, would not elect to have a baby in prison. Perhaps there could be a separate prison for known sex-offenders, which might stave off rape of those who have not had a sexually violent thought. It would even stop sexual assault in regular prisons because assaulting someone would automatically get that individual transferred to the rapist prison where there was a danger that they, themselves, would be assaulted. As it stands now, AMAB trans women are more likely to experience sexual assault if they are put into prison with AMAB cis men. So many of their arguments fall apart under scrutiny, but none of their arguments assume equality of gender. Yes, historically, men have had power and that power has allowed them to assault women. But feminism is about changing that aspect of history, giving women equal power. Arguing about "women's sports" is not equality, it is the opposite of that. Rant over, thank you for tuning in.

Something Blue

 I just started a manga called Blue Flag, and I havent finished, I'm only on chapter 44 out of 53, but even still this one has to be one of the best informative manga I have read, and its main focus is on LGBT feelings and gender equality. Like the characters have serious philosophical conversations about these matters. The main character (ichinose) is probably straight, possibly bi, that remains to be seen, but his best friend (toma) is gay and it is evident from early on that Toma is smitten with him. Now Toma is the sort of guy (good looking, good at sports, kind, well built) that girls just seem to naturally fall for and well this tendency has put somewhat of a wedge between them thanks to the fact that ichinose is none of those things. But ichinose is totally oblivious to his friend's feelings because he has misunderstood Toma to be in love with a girl (his sister in law to be precise) and because ichinose is too busy crushing on the latest girl (kuse) to fall under his friend's spell. What I like about this manga. It uses its platform to preach love and acceptance in the form of debates the characters have. I like dialog heavy and philosophical shows a lot already and seeing one tackle this subject is... well it's already something close to my heart so it makes me happy. I also like the character design, unique characters that don't feel stereotypical, since that is so important with proper representation. It also shows both sides of the argument,  which can help sometimes when minds are closed by things like trauma or ignorance,  but not so much when they are closed by deep seated and learned prejudices. 

If there were anything I could find fault with it might be that despite tackling issues like gender inequality,  gender stereotypes,  and gender norms, it doesn't really talk about transgender individuals in a coherent or meaningful way. Well, not yet but I'm almost through the whole thing 53 chapters seems to be all that's available. 

A quick rant about problematic elements

 So I have been reading some lit rpg and in case you don't know, that's books about gaming worlds. While I am (mostly) enjoying them, I do find some things problematic. A lot of the books have heterosexual male leads, which in and of itself is not a problem, but the objectification of women and some of the depictions of romance (as well as the absence of any lgbt characters that aren't male lesbian fantasies) do tend to be. And I understand that I'm not the target audience, but why do I have to feel guilty about enjoying something that I otherwise find fascinating simply because I'm not the target audience? And does catering to the homophobic tendencies of toxic masculinity that exist within the target audience do any good? Sure I could read any number of lgbt friendly books from other genres and then I wouldnt have to worry about it, but I want to read things that interest me without finding this kind of passive aggressive jab at homosexuality and female equality within books that otherwise seem to be putting forward very liberal mindsets. A lot of these books have critiques of capitalism and racism and xenophobia that you'd expect to find in books written by someone with an open mind. 

Okay, so I was reading a bunch of different authors and finding basically the same formula. And I came across a book series with a bisexual man as the main character and I was thrilled, at first. I was thrilled until the books deliberately alienated him from the male love interest, who was far more interesting, to shove a relationship with the female love interest for almost two books of the series, just to have the final resolution to the m/m sexual tension fairly well glossed over (while the m/f relationship was practically shoved down your throat). And I was no longer excited by having a bisexual male lead, because if both m/m and f/m relationships aren't treated equally, is it good representation?

Silence can be Deafening: Themes of Bullying and Isolation in A Silent Voice

 I feel especially qualified to speak about this masterpiece of an anime/manga, because I have not only watched the animated movie multiple times, I have also read the manga in its entirety. I will talk about what I liked about the adaptation, where I felt it came short of perfection in adhering to the original storyline and some of the elements that I found most powerful as well as characters I loved and ones I loved to hate.

The story follows Shoya Ishida. As it begins, he is your garden variety grade schooler. He gets bored easily, so when a deaf girl (Shoko Nishimiya) transfers into his class, he amuses himself by leading a group of other students in bullying her. The anime just glosses over much of this in the opening montage because it is the setup to the full story, but the whole of it, and especially the teacher's complicity in it, is especially disheartening. The manga is more powerful in the regard that you actually see how much of poor Shoko takes and how earnestly she just really wants to be friends and blames herself for what is happening. The teacher telling his students that having her there is a bother is really sickening as well. Since most of the actual bullying is just part of the opening sequence in the anime, you don't really see the teacher's role in it all. One student (Miyoko Sahara) actually tries to learn sign language but then moves away, presumably because she becomes a target for trying to help poor Shoko. In the end, Shoko's mom has to complain to the school because the expensive hearing aids she's been buying keep disappearing (one of the ways in which Shoya has perpetuated his bullying is by stealing her hearing aids and tossing them around the classroom). When the bullying comes to light, Shoya is forced to take all the blame as the other kids lie to get themselves out of trouble. His mom, who is a single hairdresser, uses her meagre income to pay Shoko's mom back for the hearing aids and Shoya watches as she grovels and is subsequently slapped by Shoko's mother. The knowledge that he has been a burden on his mom, who already has it rough, is hard on Shoya. He hides the fact that he is being bullied from her when the bullying energy of the school turns from focusing on Shoko to focusing on him. His shoes are stolen, but he lies and says he lost them jumping in the river. Shoko tries to help him at first, but he lashes out at her instead of letting her help and after their confrontation she leaves the school. Shoya then endures bullying for the remainder of his gradeschool life and finds himself isolated and alone. The friends he once surrounded himself with have all abandoned him, and this feeling of isolation is indicated by showing all others around him with x's over their faces. He can't look people in the eye. He is in his third year of high school when the montage of the anime ends, and he is planning his suicide. We see evidence as the date he has planned to do it is marked on the calendar and each day leading up to it is filled with preparations. On the day of, he realizes suddenly that he has never apologized to Shoko since she moved away. He has one bit of unfinished business.

When he goes to find her, we learn that he has studied sign language. He brings her the notebook he stole from her as a child. Shoya's feelings of isolation and guilt and his subsequent salvation are what make this story one of the best depictions of bullying not only in anime, but anywhere I've seen. Bullies aren't inhuman and I think the idea that they are just perpetuates the cycle. Bullies are often hurt or bullied and lash out at others because it's all they know or because looking down on others makes them feel better about themselves. Understanding that bullies are people too does not condone bullying and this story is not saying that bullying is harmless. It actually says quite the opposite. By humanizing the bullies, by letting us see that they are all just misguided people, it allows an understanding that could very well lead us to find real solutions to bullying. 

Shoya finds his reason to live when Shoko forgives him and they begin an unlikely friendship. This is the beginning of what will eventually open Shoya's world up beyond just his family and help him to find real friends again. His first male friend is a young gentleman (Tomohiro Nagasuka) who he witnesses being harassed by a group of kids who are trying to steal his bike. Shoya intervenes, allowing the boys to take his bike instead. When Tomohiro brings Shoya's bike back to him, after finding it discarded in a ditch, the x falls from his face and Shoya makes his first friend since grade school. The characters are all very realistic, and realistically there are those whose motivations and actions are petty and less understandable than others. First I will talk about the various characters I liked and why I liked them.

Miyako Ishido is Shoya's mom. She is understandably upset when she learns of his suicide plan after he has already given up on it. She burns the money he gave her to repay what she spent to replace Shoko's hearing aids telling him in no uncertain terms that if he tries anything like that again she'll do the same thing. He'll never be able to expunge the debt if doing so means he is free to take his own life. This scene shows just how much Miyako cares about her son despite being unaware that he was being bullied in school. Given that she is a single mom with at least one other child to care for (Shoya's older sister, and later her daughter as well) and that Shoya actively hid the fact that he was bullied by playing it off like he was goofing around with his friends as always, Miyako can be forgiven for not seeing her son's pain before it got to the point where he was planning his own suicide. I like her because, despite her lack of awareness of what her child is going through (mostly because he's hiding it from her not wanting to cause her trouble) she does her very best for her children. She puts up her daughter and grandchild, possibly just while her son-in-law is out of the country on business, despite running her own hairdressing business in the same building where they all live. She takes responsibility for her son's misguided behavior without being harsh with him over it. She is just, overall, the best mom she can be given that she has to do the whole thing by herself.

Yuzuru Nishimiya is Shoko's sister. We meet her for the first time when Shoya comes to talk to Shoko as a teenager. Yuzuru pretends to be Shoko's boyfriend since she's young enough her gender is ambiguous and she dresses in tomboyish clothing. She does this in the hopes that Shoya will leave Shoko alone assuming that he's there hoping for a romance between them. Yuzuru is very protective of her older sister and her photography hobby is mainly used to show Shoko what death is like because her sister has talked about suicide. Yuzuru is an interesting character because she starts off hating Shoya for what he did and trying to keep him away from Shoko, but eventually realizing that he is human and not the same as the young boy who hurt her sister horribly all those years ago. She's also interesting because she's both immature in ways and more mature than she should need to be in others. Their mother is not the best person at handling emotions and giving maternal affection, however her mother is. The Nishimiya girls' grandmother is shown to be very tender and understanding unlike her daughter who tries to handle situations more practically.

Tomohiro Nagasuka is a favorite character because he is tenacious and he defends his friend vehemently. He is also different enough that he doesn't really have many friends either. He lies and says he has friends to save face, but it is pretty obvious that he is lying from the outset by the way he acts.

Shoya's character growth throughout the series is palpable. I really enjoyed seeing the x's start to fall off people's faces as he got to know them and started opening up more. There is a major setback about halfway in, which causes some x's to reappear. I enjoyed how this small detail was able to give a major insight into this character's thinking and state of mind at any given time. 

Although Shoko's self-loathing may be difficult for some westerners to understand (because our society emphasizes individuality over community), I got where she was coming from. The idea that you're really just a burden to everyone around you, and that they'd be better off if you weren't there is not new to me. Those of you who know how I was raised will understand why there is a great deal of guilt that I associate with taking charity or being helped in any way. I can't even imagine not being able to get out of that mindset of being a burden because I had a physical handicap which kept me at least somewhat dependent on others. It also doesn't help that the teacher basically calls her a burden and that all her classmates see her as one, hence the bullying in the first place.

Now to main characters I loved to hate (I will not include the teacher, although he was loathsome because he has a minor role) -- Naoko Ueno has always kind of crushed on Shoya since they were kids. True she did nothing to stop her classmates from turning on him or him from being bullied for the remainder of gradeschool, but then again she didn't want the same thing to happen to her. She is a very selfish character and she does so many horrible things out of jealousy. After the climactic event of the story which lands Shoya in the hospital, Naoko refuses to let Shoko in to see him even though she has no right to keep anyone out (she is not family). She also physically attacks Shoko because Shoya's injury could be construed as her fault. Not only that, Naoko had a hand in the dissolution of Shoya's friend group thanks, again, to her jealousy of the bond that she saw forming between Shoya and Shoko.

Second on this list is Miki Kawai and her character is so awful it makes my skin crawl. She pretends to be nice and friendly to get close to a guy she likes. Then she throws Shoya under the bus faster than you can blink as soon as she thinks her reputation might suffer. She is just a loathsome character and incredibly selfish and self-centered. She is also incredibly self-righteous, always acting as if she had nothing to do with the bullying even though she laughed right along with everyone else when it was happening.

Shoko's mom makes a close third. I know she means well, and is only doing what she sees as best for her children, but damn that woman is cold. It is not until near the end, after Shoya's accident, that we actually see a different side to her. 

But what is so good about this story, and these characters, is that they all experience at least some character growth. Ueno and Kawai have the least character growth out of everyone and even they have some.

What is different between the anime and manga? Well, they made the anime a movie, so there was a lot they left out. Major things that got left out were: the movie (the friend group was making a movie to show at the cultural festival when they dissolved), the teacher's role in the students' behavior (I think they touched on it, but didn't really show the extent to which he turned a blind eye to the bullying and even somewhat encouraged it), much of the bullying and interactions from when they were kids (because this part was just a montage in the movie), the extent to which Ueno interfered and tried to keep Shoko from seeing Shoya while he was unconscious in his hospital bed, Shoko's getting the friend group back together to finish the movie (it does show her going to everyone, but in the manga they finished the movie and brought Shoya to the premier as a get well present). For the most part, this is a very good adaptation. I understand that they could not have included everything as that would have made the movie much too long. The movie was very good in both sub and dub versions making this one of the few anime that I am willing to watch dubbed.

Something Fishy

So I'm here to talk about the anime Banana Fish. I had long heard of this story as one of the ones that got it right with LGBT representation, so I was very eager to see how they handled it. On the outset it looks like it's setting up for an intimate relationship between the two male leads who are drawn to each other despite coming from completely different worlds. It never actually confirms anything, however. There is no love confession. There is only a declaration of friendship. There is no doubt that the two had chemistry or that they cared deeply for one another, but nothing more. Not only was the relationship between the two who would have been the wholesome couple never confirmed as more than close friendship, the only other gay representation is extremely negative. Papa Dino uses Ash and other young men as prostitutes, even threatening to rape Eiji at one point. Dino is a mafia don who, among other things, runs a child sex trafficking scheme through one of his restaurants. One of the first people to get killed, Marvin, is shown as being openly gay and he turns out to be a pedophile who has tapes of himself raping Ash as a young boy in his apartment. 

Not every bad guy in Banana Fish is gay, but it would seem every gay man in Banana Fish is a bad guy. And before you say "but what about Ash and Eiji?" they aren't gay, at least not entirely. There is a scene where Ash and Eiji talk about girls they've liked. At most they are bi-sexual or bi-romantic. The story, if you ignore what seems to me to be blatant homophobia, is good. It is a story about a man's journey towards redemption and love despite coming from horrific abuse and violence and being constantly drawn back into that world (it just doesn't seem that the love is more than platonic in nature). If the show had ended with any sort of romantic declaration of love, even if the love is asexual because of Ash's past, it could be called good representation. Yes, it is a story of abuse. I agree that showing how Ash is vulnerable and has been used by men brings to light the very real abuse that many women face in their daily lives just because they're women and reasonably good looking. However, it was not necessary to exclude any positive gay relationships. There are at least two positive heterosexual ones. And the best argument I've heard for this is that the original Manga was written in the 80's which was a time when you couldn't be explicit about that kind of thing (unless you are pushing the message that gay = bad, I suppose, because there are plenty of explicit depictions of gay men, they're just all being portrayed as bad people).

So I guess I'll watch the other shows that have been recommended as good representation and find out if they are similarly disappointing. Other than the poor LGBT representation, Banana Fish was a pretty good show. The intrigue was good. I wasn't too crazy about the portrayal of America, but that is more amusing than upsetting. Some parts of it seemed a little bit reminiscent of actions movies, which aren't really my scene (lots of gratuitous violence that doesn't move the plot along), some of it did help show the contrast between the worlds Ash and Eiji live in, though. I really loved the relationship between the two, even as a platonic bond, but would have loved it more if the writer had had the balls to make it undeniably romantic love. I have heard that there is an epilogue that shows one of their friends talking about their relationship and classifying them as soulmates, but I feel like this is enough of a cop out that it doesn't count. It's like JK Rowling saying Dumbledore is gay but never actually showing it (until recently, in an apparent attempt to revive her standing in the LGBT community after all her anti-trans rhetoric).

Isn't it time to Feel Good?

 I realized the other day that I never did a follow up post on Feel Good despite having finished the show and loving it. The best part of this show was how real the characters felt. Mae's trauma felt real, the way they suppressed it felt real. George's inability to accept her bisexuality felt real. Mae's mom being judgmental and overly meddlesome felt real, and Mae's denial also felt real. George's dad with his flightiness felt like a real dad going through a midlife crisis. It was all so brilliant and realistic. The roommate character (Phil) continued to be lovable despite it turning out that he actually was the reason his dad left like he'd said all along. 

So the comedy aspect of it was good, because I felt that the situations were actually pretty funny sometimes. Certain elements I felt actually lent to more situational comedy, like the fact that the caring, sensitive guy George dates when she breaks up with Mae turns out to be a bit of a possessive jerk in the long run, or how George ends up coming out to her friends.

I will warn you, in case this is a problem, that Feel Good does deal with issues of statutory rape, grooming and pedophilia, drug addiction, mental health issues, and LGBT issues including being genderqueer. It does not make light of these, but draws its situational comedy from other elements and especially from how other people view and react to the characters in the show, sometimes in ludicrous ways that feel all too real. Take, for example, George's fear about coming out. It shows up when she confronts one of her students for calling another one a gay slur. She then goes to the principle to rant about how the SRE class should be teaching things like sexuality only to find out that she should have been doing that all along and that it was her own hang-ups that caused the issue. Another time that also involves George's school life comes when George jokingly sends Mae a text asking them to meet up at the school for sex. Mae takes George's request seriously and ends up being shuffled into a closet so George's class doesn't find out. A lot of Season's one's comedic moments deal with George's insecurities and her own internalized homophobia. Phil's depression isn't treated as a joke either, but there are some comedic elements concerning the unique way he tries to cheer George and Mae up, or how he deals with their breakup. In many ways he is like a child, their child.

The show was so good for so many reasons. I loved the well-written main characters and dialog, the director's choice to use certain sounds to indicate a PTSD response in Mae, the way they portrayed the inner dialog Mae has with Scott before finally confronting him, the side characters (especially Phil, but even the ones I really hated because they were jerks), the romance, the comedy. I really can't think of a single criticism.