Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Blog challenge question one: Five ways to win my heart?

Okay, this is going to be interesting. I have to think and think hard about this one. I think I will list them in descending order from least to most important. The least important of the five ways to win my heart would be sharing an interest with me. I like to share things with other people and discuss them at length. If we have absolutely nothing in common it is not likely that you will win my heart. The fourth way to win my heart would be for us to have a level of mutual trust. You must feel that you can trust me and respect me. I must feel that I can trust and respect you. I think that trust and respect are necessary bedfellows. You cannot have one without the other and they cannot be mutually exclusive. Therefore, I have listed them as one. The third way to win my heart is through intelligent conversation. As stated earlier, I enjoy sharing my life with other human beings. Being able to hold an intelligent conversation is more important to me than trust and common interests. I may grow to care about those people who cannot hold an intelligent conversation with me because they have values or ideas I admire. However, I cannot give my heart to anyone without at least some level of intelligent conversation. Even more important to me than intelligent conversation is a sense of humor. I have to be able to laugh at things and someone who does not understand this basic need cannot win my heart. Almost every close friendship I have had included an ability to make me laugh. I do not require you to have the same sense of humor as I do (few people share my exact sense of humor) but you have to be able to laugh at things. You have to see the hilarity of some situations. Number one on my list of ways to win my heart is through kindness. This is the primary reason I fell for my ex. He showed a great degree of kindness to people he did not know early on in our relationship. Kindness is very important to me. Kindness is the number one way to win my heart and cruelty is the number one way to alienate me.

All this being said, I do not know that anyone else ever will win my heart. I have devised a wall of sorts around my heart and I am undecided if it should ever come down. I am afraid of being hurt again. I am afraid of letting someone in and finding out that they are not the person I thought them to be. I am afraid of learning to care about someone and losing them. I am afraid of being betrayed or made to feel worthless. I do not know if I will ever overcome my fears. I think that I may be broken and that there might not be anyone who can fix me. However, it is still less than a year since I left my husband of ten years. My ex was, in fact, the only man I ever gave my heart to. So it is understandable that I might be a little gun-shy for a while.

Well, this introspection was revealing. Stay tuned tomorrow for the next challenge question and be sure to visit the site that started it all:

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